Emblems and acres
If you think you see Will Ferrell playing hurling with Wicklow it's always worth going in for a closer look.
Goats are amusing creatures, as these pictures and videos show. On the immediate left we have a goat appearing to wear a daffodil monocle, which is about as amusing as a picture can get.
Will GAA go semi-pro?
Best 47 seconds on the internet
Real life doesn't throw up enough moments like the above.
The interpretation below is also delightful.
11 insane sex myths that will improve your abs
in half a fortnight (and are actually probably true)*
* Or some reasons to be glad the internet exists.
There’s a golfer named Edward Loar,
About whom I don’t know much more,
He’s straight off the tees
When he bends at the knees,
If he doesn't he has to shout FORE!
A FEW years ago I was sitting down with my portfolio manager when he suggested I should invest in a social media platform that allowed participants to express themselves in 140 characters or fewer.
I was as new to the abridged communication game as I was to the world of shrewd investments, but my gut instinct was that the world would not take to this new enterprise he called Twitter.
It wasn’t that I was suspicious of endeavours where people attempted to get their ideas across in as few words as possible, in fact it was precisely because I favoured another medium to do this on that I chose not to invest in the company now worth billions.
“Would you like your opinions to be immediately swallowed by the vastness of the world wide web?” I asked, “Or would you like to see them blaze across the sky?”
My investor friend blinked into the silence.
“You are not trying to convince me that skywriting is the next leap forward in communications rather than a user-friendly website where content can be generated millions of times a minute.”
“Skywriting, Schmiwriting!” I shouted back. “That stuff disappears in a puff of smoke and is probably much harder to calibrate than you’d think. I’m talking about banners being pulled by planes!”
“That may be the most boneheaded idea I’ve ever heard while sitting behind this desk, but because I can see how enthused you are about this I’m going to let you try to convince me how this might just work... Wouldn’t it be a very expensive way to get your point across?”
“At first, yes, we’ll have to hire a raft of private planes to carry the messages. But once people start seeing celebrities doing it they’ll all want to get in on the act.”
“But the expense?”
“Eventually we’ll roll it out to commercial airlines and cargo carriers. There’s 300,000 flights taking off every day across the world and attaching a banner to each one will cost perhaps €5. Of which €4 goes directly into our...” I pointed at my pockets.
“But won’t people find it hard to see banners on planes that fly so high...”
“Sponsored binoculars! That’s where we’re going to make some serious side money.
“Companies will be tearing each other apart to hand out binoculars with their logos on them and when they go to buy them from the manufacturers, who do they find has cornered the binocular market?”
“Us.” My investor’s eyes, if we had been in a cartoon, would by now have turned into dollar symbols. “How very far-sighted of you,” he joked.
“And best of all, libel law jurisdiction runs out above 20,000 feet.”
He said he had some contacts in the aviation line, so he agreed to start on that side of the business while I bought the binoculars.
And after that meeting I never saw him again, even after I invested in a telescope.
Rumours were that he took our seed money and invested it in the original venture he suggested, but when Twitter shares recently took a nosedive I couldn’t help noticing certain festooned aircraft had taken to the skies above prominent sports events, insulting football managers and players with snarky comments.
If one appears at the FA Cup final tomorrow I’m certainly going to sue.
In the meanwhile, if you are interested in some cheap binoculars, pleases get in contact.
Good for keeping babies in and giant flies out.
The winner of today's caption competition goes to Andrea with this entry:
"The hay chafed against Helen's silken calves, just as she imagined Terry's calloused palms would when placed on her skin. He was looking at her at last, for the first time that day, but his belly was facing in another direction and the old woman had said this was a powerful signal that his heart was not to be hers."
Well done Andrea.
This is my attempt at a weblog. I have left my diaries scattered around my living quarters, but nobody in the vicinity seems ineterested. So I offer this website to the world, hoping to attract followers to the word of Rob.
What is a weblog? Good question.
Weblog is a compound word (like tablespoon or vineyard) that derives from the words 'we' (meaning 'us people') who 'blog' (meaning 'write stuff on the internet').
The plan is to update this site regularly at first, before my enthusiasm inevitably dwindles and the initial gush becomes an unsteady drip. This will form a shallow puddle that is easy to avoid.
For this reason there will be few guilt-inducing dates and a flimsy chronological structure. Because who wants a foothold in a puddle?
I start with the least controversial subject I can imagine, which is goats. This will gently ease us into some tougher territory in the coming days and weeks.